segunda-feira, 2 de fevereiro de 2009

Campanha negra, uma bosta!

Chovam raios e coriscos sobre toda a humanidade, que o caso não é para menos. Então não é que eu escrevi um texto, todo muito arrumadinho, revisto e alindado, e já com título marcado, e, em vez de carregar na tecla certa para que fosse publicado, demorei mais uns segundos, a lê-lo mais uma vez, na vaidade de encontrar ruga possível, para pronto a retirar, e sabem o que aconteceu? Pois foi. O computador "faliu". O ecrã ficou escuro, e aquilo desligou-se tudo. Berrei e vociferei. Até acordei os vizinhos. E, na esperança tola de poder salvar qualquer coisa, lá liguei o dito à corrente, e abri tudo de novo. Ora, o que eu encontrei foi um primeiro rascunho, e só do primeiro parágrafo. Raios! - berrei de novo. E desta vez, não obstante ser tarde, até o melro fugiu, o que dorme ali ao lado, entre os ramos do loureiro. E fiz logo outra tolice: pus-me a tentar recordar as coisas como as tinha escrito, e a escrevê-las de novo. O resultado, está visto, não podia ser grande coisa. Foi mesmo uma grande bosta. E, se digo bosta, é só para evitar dizer merda, que aquilo que saiu foi mesmo uma grande merda, mas deverão compreender que aqui não posso dizer merda. Por isso é que elevei a merda à categoria de bosta, que tem outra dignidade. E como se a arrelia não fosse já grande assim, resolvi fazer outra asneira:carreguei então na tecla, e publiquei mesmo O amor anda no ar, embora, com este texto conspirativo contra mim, melhor seria dizer: o amor anda já ali em baixo. Pode ser que volte a ele. Tinha uma parte bonita, completamente omitida. Pode ser que acorde de noite com tudo no pensamento. Mas isto, só se o melro cantar.
Ah! Uma outra coisa: eu sou um elemento preto, mais preto que o carvão, que está em campanha negra. Agora estão avisados. E, posto isto, vou deixar isto aqui, antes que diga mais coisas e me torne ainda mais negro, malcriado e radical.
Será que o que me aconteceu, bem como a minha reacção, será conspiração contra mim, desviando a atenção do outro? Será que eu estou a ser vítima de uma qualquer campanha negra, destas que abundam tanto no reino de Portugal? Vejam lá no que se metem. Olhem que eu sou malcriado. Mas também não tanto assim: em vez de merda, digo bosta. Querem que diga outra vez, querem? Olhem que digo:
-Bosta para a campanha negra.

55 comentários:

Anónimo disse...

Até a tua bosta tem piada...talvez porque eu ainda trazia nos olhos o canto dos pássaros .Ora bosta, pássaros, relva é tudo campestre, excepto a merda, mas dessa não vou falar porque anda o ar empestado dela e por causa dela.
Mas isso é outra história.

Unknown disse...

ola...
Já não sei o que dizer a alguém de quem tenho tantas saudades, de alguém de quem tanto preciso!(espero que goste de saber isso)

Olhe passe pelo meu blog tem lá uma prendinha, é simples mas o que conta é a intenção e o amor com que o fiz.

beijinhus com bastantes saudades(não sabia que as saudades nos davam picadelas no coração quando falamos da pessoa)
;-)

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Colega aposentado(a) ou em vias de o ser

Já está aborrecido(a) de estar em casa?

Não sabe o que fazer à vidinha?

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Está farta dos tachos e das panelas e de fazer o almocinho e jantarzinho para a família?

Está à beira de um ataque de nervos, porque sente a falta dos alunos a gritarem, a serem mal-educados e a mandarem-no(a) a vários sítios?

Teve de voltar ao psiquiatra e ao Xanax porque não aguenta o silêncio da sua casa?

Vai todos os dias ao centro comercial para estar no meio de gente e ouvir as conversas do vizinho do lado?

Alegre-se, porque vai melhorar, e vai voltar a sorrir!!!

Sabe qual é a solução? É fazer voluntariado. Então, não está já a sentir-se melhor?

Não, nada disso que está a pensar. Não vai trabalhar para nenhum Banco Alimentar, nenhum Hospital ou Centro de Dia, nenhuma Instituição de Solidariedade Social.

Vai voltar a trabalhar para a sua escolinha ou para outra escolinha em que sempre desejou estar e nunca conseguiu.

Está incrédulo(a)? Não acredita que isto seja possível? Talvez pergunte a si próprio(a) quem teve esta brilhante ideia, para que a sua vidinha continue a ter algum sentido.

Acredite, porque lhe estou a dizer a mais pura das verdades!

Sabe quem teve esta brilhante ideia? A nossa Milú e os seus amiguinhos Pedreira e Lemos.

São ou não são uns queridos? Claro que são!!!

Não querem que fique em casa com uma depressão, pois uma consulta no psiquiatra é bem cara. Quem é amigo, quem é?

Tem a possibilidade de escolher o que quer fazer, pode trabalhar no mínimo 3 horas semanais e IMAGINE que até lhe pagam os transportes …. públicos! Velhote(a) como está, já não tem idade para conduzir a sua viatura, pode ter um acidente e lá se vai o voluntariado!

Está mesmo interessado(a)? Leia o projecto de despacho …. Alegre-se e mande passear o Xanax, as panelas, a TV e o futebol!!

Mas … há sempre um mas! Não pense que se vai livrar da avaliação, pois terá que fazer a sua avaliaçãozita no final do ano. E esta, hein?

Eu vou pensar seriamente nesta opção para a minha futura aposentação. Como estou já tão feliz!!!

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Fevereiro 7, 2009
Pela Blogosfera - Psitacídeo
Posted by Paulo Guinote under Deixa-me Rir, Ideias
1 Comment

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